emeraldeyez45 (emeraldeyez45) wrote in inmybigdreams,

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"hold my hand"
you said
"you look so beautiful tonight
so pretty -
i wish you were mine"
stumbeling down the dirt hill
hand in hand
smiling and dancing under the stars
"watch him
dont let him talk to my mom
oh my god you guys are so drunk"
she says to me
mandy needs a ride home
her dad is coming for her
and we need to get back to laurens house.
lauren and cesare in front of us
he and i hand in hand -
stumbling down the dirt hill
down the broken concreat sidewalk
through the park
draped in darkness
mandys whining that shes all alone
with no one to hold her
we just look at eachother and laugh..
speaking in the language of looks
one that people only engage in after knowing someone almost longer than themselves
"youre always so pretty"
he says
orange juice and vodka enveloped in words that are jumbled
"why didnt we ever go out?
i like you"
all the words that ive wanted to hear for so long
are drabbling out of his mouth now
after two months of not seeing him
is this what it takes for honest answers?
but my questions were always left unsaid.
that was this summer
since then he's broken up with his girlfriend of two years
and the unsaid questions were asked
and the answers were vague.
je ne seis pas was all i recieved
when i asked if he liked me
but then this last week we drank again
a habit that i need to stop
but that seems to be the only way to see what he's feeling
i layed on the bed watching tv
he layed behind me
i snuggled closer because i was freezing
he placed his arm around me - hand on mine
legs behind mine - laying almost as one
soon he fell asleep and so did i
i awoke to the tv still blairing
the clock glaired five am
rolling over, i gaze at the sleeping blue eyed boy
his chest rising and falling rhythmically
as it always has done when he drifts to deep sleep
delicate features on a strong face
i ran my fingers through his thick brown hair
leaned closer to him and placed a simple kiss on his lips
he stirred in his slumber then to my horror awoke
eyes opened sleeply and looked at me confused for a while
as if to say "did you just do what i think you did?"
all i could do was look back one last time and run
out of his house
through the park
down the broken concreat of the sidewalk
draped in darkness of the early morning stars
"hold my hand"
you said
"you look so beautiful tonight
so pretty -
i wish you were mine"
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